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Jul 23, 2014
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SERVING SAINT LOUIS SINCE 1999
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Three Reasons to try Absolutli Goosed

March 11th 02:03pm, 2011

031111_absolutliThe martini is not a drink you can gulp. I mean, you’re allowed to, if you’ve just seen something horrible, like a mime, but really you should sip it. A martini is too potent to suck down in mindless, bibulous need. It’s for savoring, for reflecting.

Well, you can reflect in about 80 different ways at Absolutli Goosed. Let’s break it down.

1. You can go savory with a salty, dirty martini, or any other kind. The basic martini instruction page makes it easy: Choose your spirit; make it dry (with dry vermouth), sweet (with sweet vermouth), perfect (with sweet and dry vermouth) or dirty (with olive juice); and choose your garnish, a variety of  olives – plain or stuffed with blue cheese, anchovies or almonds – cocktail onions, pickled asparagus, pickled green beans or others. Finally, make it either straight up or on the rocks. Absolutli Goosed is famous for its Bloody Mary choices, as well – the signature I’m Goosed Mary is made with house-made garlic- and peppercorn-infused vodka and comes in your choice of five heat levels.

2. You can go for the sweet stuff with any of the dozens of sweet concoctions that dominate the menu here. There are 15 cosmos (including the Pink Coconut and the Neapolitan) and a coffee cocktail section with winning concoctions like the Express Yourself: Van Gogh Espresso Vodka, Amarula cream liqueur, white crème de cacao, Kahlua and a chocolate rim. The chocolate dessert martinis in the Pure Decadence section are wild; the Chocolate Cherry Caramel is made with Skyy Infusions Cherry, Amarula cream liqueur, white crème de cacao, caramel and a caramel rim (it’s messy fun). Also consider the Limey Bastard: Finlandia vodka, Keke Beach key lime cream liqueur, lime juice, cream and a whipped cream rim. You’ll want to lick off the whipped cream like a bulldog loose in the kitchen and then drink a pitcher of ‘em.

3. You can go funny, because the Absolutli Goosed crew has an absolutely great sense of humor. Consider ordering drinks with screwy names like Bugs Bunny in Drag (remember that one?), Porky Pig in Leather (me neither), Bitch’n Mona, the Banana Hammock, Godiva Down and a bunch more that will make you blush.

Look around – people are deep in conversation at their tables here. Blame it on the martinis. Whether they’re dry and salty or sticky with chocolate, they’re potent and have a way of making good things seem better and bad things maybe not so crappy after all.

By Byron Kerman

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One Response to “Three Reasons to try Absolutli Goosed”

  1. Sidney Mylott Says:
    June 1st, 2011 at 5:07 pm

    I enjoyed the post :)

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