Review: Cheeseology on the Loop

Editor’s note: Cheeseology has closed. 

Each entrée at Cheeseology has two things in common: macaroni noodles and, of course, cheese. Yep, an entire restaurant that serves only mac and cheese. Awesome, right? Turns out, it’s not as great as it sounds. Served in iron skillets, the dishes will address – but not necessarily satiate – your hunger, and you’ll realize that your fantasy of having only mac and cheese for your entire meal may be a bit misguided.

The menu is straightforward, with identifiable names for each variety of mac and cheese offered. Ingredients are mixed in at will, so if you’ve got any amendments, they can easily be accommodated. The elbow macaroni noodles, through and through, are prepared the same – on the squishy side.  

Let’s start with The Hill, representative of the St. Louis way thanks to the ground salsiccia and Provel. The key ingredient here is the cheese, which overpowers the spicy, fennel-flecked sausage. A layer of marinara is said to balance the two, but it is quite undetectable, making the key ingredient Provel. It’s incredibly rich ... and tastes exactly like an Imo’s pizza.

Another meat offering is the Bacon, Bacon, which features mozzarella, Gruyère and a “generous” serving of bacon. Unfortunately, the helping of bacon wasn’t as generous as it could’ve been and, worse, it was rather chewy. The cheeses weren’t compatible, giving the whole experience a rather unpleasant vibe.  

A little less heavy is the Santa Fe, prepared with Monterey Jack and Chihuahua cheese, tender white chicken cubes, a nice mixture of spices and a flavorful, crunchy corn and black bean salsa. The cheeses, while they complement each other quite well, aren’t the dominant feature here, leaving the Southwest-style additions to carry the dish in texture, flavor and spice. It’s a well-balanced option.
And speaking of texture, flavor and spice, the Vegan Mac and “Cheese” offered here has none of those: It tastes of plastic and of wood. It is hard in consistency and unappetizingly bland, lacking any salt or pepper or spice or creamy taste. While Cheeseology deserves props for trying to accommodate varied dietary needs, the kitchen also needs to understand that vegans aren’t against delicious food, they’re simply against animal products.

Also on the veggie side of things is the savory Mediterranean: a mixture of artichoke hearts, sun-dried tomatoes and kalamata olives with mozzarella and goat cheeses. Again, the cheeses do not go together well, and the sliced kalamata olives overpower the diced artichokes and tomatoes. There is such potential for this sort of flavorful combination, but the execution just isn’t there.

The Philly Cheese is your best bet here, with the appropriate American and Provolone cheeses melted over tender pieces of flavorful, spiced steak, chopped onions and green peppers. The veggies were just crunchy enough, providing a great texture contrast with the noodles, and the meat is well seasoned. Aside from this being one of the most well-balanced dishes on the menu, it’s also one of the most well-seasoned due to the cracked pepper evenly distributed throughout the mixture, something missing from most of the other options.

Several salads are available for when you tire of noodles and cheese: a garden, Caesar or spinach, the last one topped with blue cheese, walnuts and cranberries. It’s unspectacular, but it’s a nice balance to the cheesy main courses.

Because the noodles here are not al dente and most of the mix-ins lack any real differentiating textures, and because the cheese tends to get soupy toward the bottom, there can easily be too much sameness to the dishes offered at Cheeseology. A helpful hint: say “yes” when asked if you want to add bread crumbs to your order; it adds a welcome crunchiness.

It’d be nice if the kitchen would leave the skillets in the oven a bit longer so as to 1) achieve the coveted crispy top (just like grandma used to make), and 2) cook the dish all the way through. It’s not uncommon for the skillet to cool off within five minutes of digging in, creating an experience that isn’t as pleasant as it was for the first five.

FILLING UP FOR $20 OR LESS

Dine-In-Ability: The dining room’s got an oddly sterile vibe, but there’s plenty of seating with great spots for people-watching.
Feast or Famine: If you don’t like mac and cheese, well, you’re outta luck.
Try it You’ll Like it: Philly Cheese
Where: Cheeseology, 6602 Delmar Blvd., University City, 314.863.6365
When: Tue. to Thu. – 11 a.m. to 10 p.m., Fri. and Sat. – 11 a.m. to 11 p.m., Sun. – noon to 9 p.m.