No-Cream Creamed Spinach

I love dairy. Like, I want to marry it. And yet, some of the people I cook for the most, my vegan friend Caroline and my lactose-intolerant mother-in-law, are dairy-free. I can’t imagine living in their Gruyère-less world. On the other hand, I suspect real chefs don’t use “Just add cheese so it tastes good” as a personal mantra. Plus, creating a yummy vegan dish would mean I really am a cook, not just a dairy-dependent rookie with a fancy stove. While searching for a new pasta recipe, I found Spinach Rolls – lasagna noodles stuffed with spinach and jarred pesto. I mixed the filling first and then gobbled up the entire thing while the noodles boiled. Recipe ruined, but I had an epiphany: This bowl of green heaven could pass for vegan creamed spinach! Well, OK, not quite. My stomach hurt from all the pesto oil. And, frankly, it looked a little too slimy to pass around the table. But it wasn’t a bad idea. If I made the pesto myself, I could reduce the oil and leave out the Parmesan. As an added bonus, I would become one of those morally superior people who make their own pesto. Into the food processer went some fresh basil, cilantro, minced garlic and olive oil. In place of the Parmesan, I threw in lots of toasted pine nuts and French sea salt. I processed, tasted and gloated. I also poisoned myself. If you’re curious, Google “metallic taste while eating, do I have cancer?” because that’s what I did three days later. It turns out that some people (me), who eat pine nuts (especially those grown in China), experience a taste disturbance called – I am not making this up – Pine Mouth. It is god-awful and lasts for days, and I sincerely hope you never experience it. Especially if you are trying to tweak a recipe for a prestigious food publication. OK, Parmesan is out. Pine nuts are seriously out. My recipe was nothing better than sautéed spinach and onions, and it tasted a little sharp to boot. Now, I make a tomato soup that gets its richness from roasted, puréed onions. What if I prepared these onions the same way? Sure enough, baking the onions added depth and took away the bite. The purée was watery, but it thickened up beautifully when I sent a boiled baby potato down the food processor chute. I was close. But the dish was still missing the decadent factor. The je ne sais quois that separates creamed spinach from baby food. I know, I know, it’s cream. But we’re trying to be vegan, remember? At this point, I did what every troubled woman does. I dissected the problem with my hair stylist. Turns out, Michael is as good with a pan as he is with a round brush. He suggested adding coconut milk. Contrary to the name, it is dairy-free, yet it contains lots of sweet, silky coconut fat. I poured it into the spinach,et voilà – indulgent, delicious and virtuous vegan creamed spinach.