Like many people, I’ve been sitting down to the soul-destroying task of preparing my taxes. It wasn’t long before I needed a drink, but what, exactly, pairs best with bureaucracy?
First, if you are a paid preparer, like I was once upon a time, don’t drink while working on a return. Unless it’s a high-net-worth kiddie return, then go with a Lemon Drop.
A simple return with only W-2 income and run-of-the-mill Schedule A deductions won’t require that much focus, so you can knock back a few. I’d recommend Bell’s Two Hearted Ale, to be specific. (Ha, bet you were expecting a joke about the tax man ripping your heart out. Nope, just a tasty, hoppy beer.)
For a more complex return with Schedule C business expense calculations and Schedule D investments, you can get really mired down. This calls for a drink that can stand up to room temperature if it’s forgotten. Initially I thought of single-malt scotch, but that can sneak up on you. No, red wine’s the call here – something big that will open up for a while. I’d go with Green & Red Chiles Mill Vineyard Zinfandel. If you leave it for 10 minutes to fix a calc, it’ll be better when you get back.
– Dennis Lowery
This article appears in Apr 1-30, 2009.