Hooray! Someone likes you enough to invite you to his potluck dinner. But don’t screw it up by being a nitwit. Not clear on what exactly constitutes such behavior? Read on for a comprehensive list of potential potluck party fouls. Avoid them, and you’ll secure an invite to next year’s shindig before the night is over. Commit them, and you better hope the host appreciates your better half.
1. Do recon. Ask around, then prepare a dish that complements the other guests’ offerings. Don’t be the lazy twit who whips up slice n’ bake cookies while someone else sweats over mini creme brulee. Presenting a posh pate to an onion dip crowd is an equally boneheaded move.
2. Don’t ask to use the oven. Your hosts have carefully timed the prep and cooking of their own dishes. If they can’t cook their lasagna because you’re baking your brie en croûte, you’re a self-important dolt. Slow cookers are a great way to keep food warm – if your host has available electrical outlets. Better yet, choose a dish that is served at room temperature.
3. Do supply your own serving spoons. It’s poor form to assume your host has enough serving pieces for everyone. But as potluck gaffes go, this is a relatively minor infraction. If you accidentally leave your cake cutter at home on the kitchen counter, don’t sweat it. You’re only kind of a jerk.
4. Do keep your food issues to yourself unless you have a life-threatening allergy. Otherwise, use common sense to determine what you should pile on your plate. People who make a production about what they can and can’t eat are attention-seeking blockheads. Bonus jackass points go to anyone who declares food to be “clean” or “unclean.” Leave the paleo platitudes at home.
5. Do be transparent about the ingredients if asked. This is the flip side of the previous faux pas. Always disclose what’s in your dish. Anyone who says there’s no meat in something made with chicken broth – even if it’s “just a splash” – is a certifiable jackass.
6. Don’t get drunk. Let this be your party mantra, and not just at potlucks. Getting so sloshed that you tumble down the stairs, fling your cocktail, and land on another guest’s husband is the jackass trifecta. If you find yourself in that undignified position, immediately redeem yourself by offering to host the potluck next year. Then compliment the host’s lasagna.
This article appears in November 2014.